Living To Dream (livingtodream) wrote,
Living To Dream
livingtodream

ugh...

Yeah I just never have the heart to update anymore...

Is it bad when the environment I'm in is so bad, I'm to the point being homeless would be BETTER for my mental health then this?
I would get into it, but what's the point?
It's not going to get me a job, or the ability to get out of said situation other then to go homeless.
I refuse, and still do to take handouts, I'm working my ass off to try to get work but even places that are hiring when I do whatever form of song and dance they want to apply, don't reply.
I'm sure they're flooded with people like me willing to take minimum wage JUST to have SOMETHING to do.

Nothing is working, the house I'm in is going to sharrif sale next month, and I'm only not a mental wreak because of the help I got last year in councilor, that now that my insurance kicked in (on he 1st) I'm working on finding out if I can get back into (I can, it's just the programed changed THIS MONTH, the same month my insurance kicked in, so all the phone numbers changed, and not all the lines are updated, and so on, and this we the week I babysat (for free because my brother STILL refuses to get me the paperwork to get paid to do it, because of Noah's situation...). So I didn't have time to see if the new program, requires approval for counciling or if like doctor apts, I just go.

I know I'm in the same boat as 90% of the unemployed, but, having an abusive brother that won't go after me now, because I kicked his ass when he did. Now he just goes after everyone else (Mom, Kids, Dogs that aren't mine), and just, no one will fucking stand up to him, and so on.

As I told mom, if he goes after Bella (mini foster aussie) one more time, I'm not watching his kids again, period, I don't care if it means Mom can't work either. I Don't do favors for abusive assholes.

I'll stop now because I'm really not being productive and just being detrimental to my own mental state.
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